Friday, January 31, 2014

New beginnings for 2014



January 31, 2014

After 9 years at MCC, I type on this keyboard one last time. Leaving is bittersweet, I will miss the people and I will miss the feeling you have after 9 years at the same job. It feels like ... I'm going through a divorce, Like I've been in a relationship that was over a long time ago, only i hung on because it was familiar.

In the 9 years I've worked here, I've learned so much.. SO MUCH happened from October 2004 to  January 2014.
These people met me at my emotional, well ALMOST my emotional worse.. I battled my ex, gained control, gained time with my daughter, Found love, Gave birth to a little boy... I've risen and fallen within this group of people..

Many came and went.. but the ones that remain, I've  known through thick and thin,, Sure like EVERYONE does off and on in a relationship, i complained, i threatened giving up, walking away toward a brighter future, but never did i think the day would actually come. The hard part is walking away, believing that you can survive outside of who they know you are.. who you think you still are...

Excitement taps at my brain and pulls at my heart.. I know that come Monday when i drive past the exit to my past and park at the entrance to my new beginning.. I will feel the distance, the uncertain, the fear that maybe I made the wrong choice... BUT i know  that in order to grow you must sometimes give up the known .. jump into the unknown.. I have learned to swim these past 9 years .. Ive learned to fight for what i want and its what assures me that I will not fail. I will grow and I will shine .. The first couple weeks, even months after a break up, the loss is painful and the fears will nag at me while I lie awake in my bed... BUT the fighter in me will scream VALUE yourself... Demand to be valued and Demand a brighter future. No longer will I sit and feel over looked or given up on.. no longer will i feel the guilt on giving less than 100%. NO matter the reason.. reality is I gave up on this relationship but I was not the only one. Here is to new beginning.. tough as they may be..
"Moving forward is rarely accomplished without considerable grief and sadness. And while our sorrow may be profound, the clouds will clear, and the sun will shine on us again. And in that warm, bright light we will find ourselves facing a glorious future. A future of exciting challenges and infinite possibilities, in which the horizon will stretch out before us, trimmed in the heavenly glow of the sunrise of our tomorrow." - Last day at MCC ... Taking 9 years of MEMORIES with me .. Bittersweet