Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Santa Cutie hurry down the chiney toinight

Couple days left before Christmas.... remember back when we actually believed in things like Santa clause, the north pole and Rudolph.... My sisters and I used to run out side and stretch as far as we could to try and catch Santa and his reindeer on the roof. Then one day while going through my parent’s closet (looking for my mom's heels) I found a bag full of toys. I was CRUSHED... no matter how much my dad tried to convince me that "Santa was very busy and asked parents to shop for the kids this year" even leaving the windows open on Christmas eve so that Santa could come through while we slept. I was NOT buying it.... a little piece of innocence chipped away that year. I still chose to participate in one of the BIGGEST SIKE outs known to man.... (eh maybe not the BIGGEST but def top 5)
Still even after that "traumatic" experience, when my daughter was old enough we planted gifts under the tree and put on this HUGE production in honor of a chubby, "jolly" old man who flies around on his sleigh... for years we bust our assess to save enough money for the toys our kids beg for (ALL year). We make sure to practice our Answers to, "BUT how does Santa get to EVERY kid? Or "If there is no Fire place how will he get in?" Then after we build up their trust, after we teach them to defend Santa when confronted by that one little asshole that is just DYING to crush your kid’s innocence .. AFTER all that... one day the bomb hits... Poor Santa is no more... There is NO easy way to deal with that look your kid will give you... that accusing look that says .. YOU LIED TO ME???
But the horror is short lived ... they realize that the gifts will keep coming with or without Old Saint Nick and they move on.
SO I wonder.. who's right?
The parents who dare let their child dream of a far off place where little elves hammer away on toys? A place called The North Pole where Santa Clause lives.. Where, a tiny reindeer, shunned by his friends because he was different, rises above and saves Christmas. Stories that fill their dreams at night. Or is it the parent who tells them about baby Jesus and the three Kings, sharing gifts and stories only without the sugar plums, talking snowman or magic Fireplace. Hmmm conundrum
I'll have to file that question right next to.. WHO came up with the idea of the heel??? WHAT BASTARD designed this toothpick like torture devices??? I'm short so heels help me out. I look taller of coarse more like a girl and less like a small child. But holy shit they HURT! Even sitting here typing my feet are begging me to release them from their torture chamber. I think if there was a fire and I had to jump to my feet right now I'd break a leg... DAMN YOU HEEL DEMON for making these black, nose bleed high, Mary Jane’s hurt me so and yet make me look so good.
Wow this was supposed to be a small blog wishing all my friends and family a Merry Christmas...With that out of the way ... ....may your name NOT be on the Naughty List, May the sugar plums be replaced my chocolate covered strawberries... May all your wishes come true... Merry Christmas to ALL and to ALL a GOOD NIGHT!!!!

New Year Resolution
1) Freak out less
2) Minimize the number of people you'd like to taze
3) Think before you Speak
4) Rant and rave on your own time no one wants to take a stroll through your random thoughts..
5)Try harder not to tell everyone to FUCK off be continued